Growing up, swapping the location of the couch and TV was the poverty version of redecorating.

We should do flag twirling.
> But this is the military.
OK so how about we do it with guns?

Remaining number of times I can explain the media can be both factual and biased at the same time before pulling out my hair: zero.

There's an unmistakable cadence to the footsteps of someone getting ready to leave the house.

How should we design the volume control on this device?
> Make it 0-100 and at 13 you can't hear it but at 14 the neighbors can.

I always thought Alan Rickman and Ivan Reitman were the same person just spoken in different accents.

The worldview behind "be yourself" is so many are good at so much your only chance of success is building on your own passions and talents.

Victim's family in every publicized criminal case: Just keep the first guy we thought did it in jail. We don't care if he's actually guilty.